Homebound Unbound

The time has sprung forward. This means it is still dark at 6:30, but it feels like 10 pm at 11 pm.  (An insane practice.) 

I have three dogs. They do nothing to support or enhance the household economy, or even bring home the dog biscuits.*  It’s the last day of school before our spring intersession, which I desperately need, not least because I am wiped out by the time change. 

This morning at 6:30 I am still groaning in the bed because it is still dark and I shouldn’t have to be getting up.**

One of the dogs is groaning back at me, but her complaint is that I am not outside playing with them. I resent her energy and tell her, “Why don’t you go and teach today, if you’re so eager to get going.” (This part is NOT spoken aloud.)

 Of course, she says nothing.  I think, as so many have before me, “I wish I were a dog.  Why can’t I be a dog. Of course, I want to be a dog in my house because it’s mostly good news to be a dog in my house.  So, since she makes no comment, the idea begins to take shape in my mind.  “We’ll trade places!”  (now I am talking, out loud. to the dog.) No response.  “You can go teach today and I’ll lay around, with brief interruptions for barking and snacking.”  Ha! 

 “And I’m just giving tests today; it’ll be easy for you.  You don’t even have to talk.”  Great!  “Who would be best at giving tests?  Hmm Loki is the meanest, but Chakra would drop the test at the student’s foot, then, if they tossed the test, he would fetch it to me. Loki, on the other hand, would just growl possessively if the kids tried to take the test away from her.  But, she would certainly enforce discipline.  Wait, I know.  You can both go. Zeus and I will stay at home.  Get going guys!”

Then I thought, “Oh rats, neither of you can drive the car.  Your legs aren’t long enough. There goes that idea.”  Pause for pondering. “Hey, but Zeus has longer legs; he can drive the car.  Perfect.  He can even wait in the car for you if he isn’t up for going into the house or the MHS library.  Of course, when you get to the library, you’ll have to wear my id tag.”  The mental image of Loki and Chakra sharing my tag has me actually laughing out loud, which is good because it replaces the groaning. 

“Zeus can’t stay in the car; it’s too hot, so he’ll have to go in with you.”  Maybe we could yoke you together and hang the tag in the middle.  That’s it! Perfect!!”

Cerberus*** delivers the tests, which is perfectly symbolic of my attitude toward nine weeks tests.  As an added bonus, the dogs are working and I am at home in bed.  (And occasionally barking.  And snacking)

The laughing got me out of bed, and here I am typing.  Apparently I am committed to being a human and a teacher for at least one more day. 

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 *I admit they are valuable members of the family for more important reasons.

**I have no idea why getting up in dark in winter is no big deal,

*** If you have read this far, and you don’t know about Cerberus, you should google Cerberus.  Everyone should know about Cerberus- the one from Greek mythology.  Look up Zeus, Loki, and Chakra while you’re at it, just for the joy of learning.

Filed under: Teachers Talk